Friends

Once you let go of all the sick psychotic self centred mean people (by let go I mean get rid of, because they are like leeches who just don't want to leave you ever! ) After so many years of crap finally I have the happy, loving, caring, nice, kind people in my life, the smile that it brings to my face just thinking about it ! All the times spent together laughing, crying,  fighting, eating, eating, going places.Maybe we won't meet that often again after we part ways but it is given that they'll be there forever whenever you need them.

 Touch wood*, thank you universe for all the happiness :)

A day

A day, just being here by myself,
no obligation to be anywhere at this particular moment,
going about at my own pace, not rushing.

About art

How can you expect to create something of your own when your mind is set on money and what sells, if you do not dedicate everyday to what you, I do not know how else will you achieve what you have always dreamed of.

Why?

When given a choice between something best and worst , you end up going for the worst because you are ridiculous and your brain is a dung bomb or maybe dumbly dory's right!  Damn you A.P.W.B.D! 

 P.S - My first attempt at creating something on corel draw at home ! 2minute thing and it is bad.

Too many diaries!

Must maintain a single sketchbook! 
#Reminder to self
Argghhh!
Now I have about 15 sketchbooks! 
Grrr, learn sy learn!

We

Can we be any more delusional, we know everything is absurd,  yet we want to be sure of everything.

You

No one can diminish yourself but you.

Jhadoo marogey

You have to earn your livelihood what else you'll do jhadoo marogey? 
I have never got a grasp on this concept of 'jhaado marna ' they say that with such distaste as if it is a sin, how do you classify which work is demeaning ?
  What makes you think you are greater than them ? Just because you speak a half assed different language with a fake accent?Why is it that a small humble job which some do with their hearts no qualms and lead a happy life, what is your problem with that? You have no qualms selling your soul to do filthy work but ** oh-dear-lord- they are doing what they love, that's so menial ! God-forbid if I ever turn into that life loving content person that they are - such a misery! **

Day #6

Roll roll roll on the cold cold floor.
Sigh*

Monsoon makes me all gooey squishy from inside
Carves a hole in my stomach
All the memories come flooding
Just waiting for the next bout of rain.

Day #5

In the morning started painting with my dust covered watercolor, ink,
Acrylics yeah the long fast I broke today and had acrylics.There is this plastic element about them which I absolutely detest, but I am surely going to try them again, strong dislike is no reason not to.

Later rushed to clarkhouse solo show drawing not considered secondary.

At marine drive, I saw a ginormous raincloud and it was as if I was in a movie watched it rain for hours on the sea sitting on the dry borderline, watched it come closer and move sideways wreaking havoc on the city.

What a beautiful sight.

oh the sea how I will always love you.Ink on paper

The rain cloud inked while at marine, finger painting.Ink on paper

Tada the ginormous rain cloud picture !

Day #4

Vacations! 
Day#2 slept 

Day#3 lamington searching for a laptop which I am not going to ge.

 Day #4
horrible sketching
Out of practice sigh!
Csmvs had a walkthrough with sudhir patwardhan 'taking the line for a walk ' yes that is a Klee reference *smirk

Drawings of indian modernists 

Raza
Souza
Hussain
Ara
Sheikh
And many more... The ancient debate about drawings being considered secondary to painting, Line, form,  tone his thoughts.

Later
Bought a sketchbook pen

Below sketch of my dad as he was wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
Tea centre a nice place,  my dad doesn't fancy much haah, fish fingers yum , pesto sandwich sucks Spicy creamy chicken is yum:")
Macaroons,  aubergines,  chocolate mousse from Gaylords :")

Three words
Yum yum yum. 

Etching + litho

Oh and yes this year etching and lithography a must, I do not know how where when, screw college!  Etch away happily!
Lithographs :( dreams*

George. B. Bridgman

Four years of all professors advising you, yelling at you, please beloved children refer or read the damn bridgman! The whatever no way w-t-h first year whiled away, then a year acquiring the book. Now after 10000's of oh-maybe-tomorrow , probably tomorrow,  the indefinitely definite tomorrows, four years later,  for the first time I have opened that book ,started reading, just a page into it and I curse myself for not reading it earlier. All these years spent over perard. Bone study I did manage from the book, but muscle study I tried okay! Well Mr. Victor, your book is very painful to read! Sigh*
But better late than never. And I love nidsy for reminding me of bridgman.
So daily sketches and hopefully a better anatomical study by the end of this year.

Exams alert......read novels.

This I think is sort of our body's defense mechanism or it simply hates us or wishes for us to not give our best, probably all the reasons combined. 

Every time.
Be it psychology,  philosophy,  art history,  Aesthetics,  whichever exam, when the examination approaches - body retard mode switch* ON.
I automatically pull out books from those dusty old shelves and end up reading what I do not have or not even closely related! 
For example my art history exam is this Saturday I have started reading short stories Edgar Allan Poe. Then a book called messiah that was just lying around borrowed from a friend, and now is the time that I decide to start reading it. Oh and then I go online to read about klee or Kandinsky.  I end up watching 2hour movie on Klimt. Who I absolutely adore, but unfortunately we do not have him this year. So,  seriously body,  brain,  mind!  Whatever is wrong with you, kindly fix it as soon as possible ! 
Love,
Psylee.

:0

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Level of boredom.

Blah

A blah post.

Noun: blah
(pl. blahs)
|blaa|

1.Pompous or pretentious talk or writing
= bombast, claptrap, fustian, rant
~ grandiloquence, grandiosity, magniloquence, ornateness, rhetoric

2.[N. American] A general feeling of discomfort, boredom, etc.

Sigh.
Oh now I know what they mean by hypo stress. Need some stressors
There are but gaaah. Why this need of something. Shrug shrug shrug* go away you.

To help remember

Sometimes I wonder, only if even 0.00000000000000000001% of what I see,  I could possibly replicate  wouldn't this earth be a bit better? (at least I would be)
more and more everyday! 

How Stupid we can be.

To that line above, there is no limit.

I quote Dumbledore  "Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the things that are worst for them."

Supposedly the brilliant creatures on this planet ( I disagree) , yet  we end up making these choices which make us miserable ! Oh , so miserable ! 

But we being the sane people go along with it no matter what or how bad it might seem logically we just have to ignore everything else and everyone besides us.

Out of our free will we choose this idiotic meaningless senseless decisions , options or whatever you may  wish to call them and then you are stuck in that stinking hole forever unless you have an epiphany.

Art history.

It never occurred to me, I could ever love history ,but here I am sprawled amongst books, papers flying everywhere, notes scribbled in tiny corners, tutorials, shuffling between websites, wishing college library was still open (it would probably be of no help). I cannot think of a theory subject more interesting than art history. How happily I laze around reading books, the names are nowhere difficult because you adore them.
Anyway I'll see you later, next post,
I must get back to soutine.

That feeling

When you are happy and alive

with that warm fuzzy feeling,

when you cannot stop grinning,

All you wish to do is smile.

87

I glanced above on my dashboard and next to the published post- 87 !
87
87 posts published.
I was astonished to see that number.
An improvement yay!
I love you blog !

Just Let it gogh !

Nidsy.

This is for you :D !

P.S- Do not kick me after looking at this :P !

Just Let it Goooooooooooooooooogh !

hahahahahaah :D
you know I love you so ! :)

(image source- online)

Formula of universal law.

"What is right is universal.
The act of breaking promises.
The act is wrong because it cannot be universalized.
If everyone breaks promise, no one can make promise.So no promises would be even made to break it."

 

Immanuel! How we often foolishly believe that everyone follows this! 
*sigh

Auguries of Innocence

To see a world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

- William Blake.

I feel so glad I chose English Literature . 

Ai enma

Oh, pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, bringing torment and pain to others, oh, damned soul wallowing in your sin, Perhaps, it is time to die...

Line from Ai-enma , animax used to be happiness.

Letter #8

Bored. Bored.
Excuses?
Plenty.Quite a long list.
Why this?  Why that?  Why not?  Huh!  What if?  what is?  And? 
Too many questions,
They will never end.

In an alternate universe

All is peaceful.
We live quietly.
Laugh,  smile,  run,  breathe,
Do what we love and go to sleep.

Misunderstandings

Well,  they suck. A lot.

Letter #

Wish you were here.
The day would've been a lot more brighter,
The night not so scary
My heart a bit more lighter ,
And the tales would've been many
The world would've been much simpler
With you right here next to me.

Sketchbooks

When out of ideas,  go to your sketchbook! :")
How I love them all! 

How times change

You amuse me blogger

The posts which I am trying to publish since forever , well they are stuck in forever.
And the publish failed post is published
Amusing.

Publish Failed

Why would you do that ?
Why?
Countless times!
All my energy and time I dedicate to you!
You have this tiny fit for a second,
one second and all that I produced is gone,
Why blogger why,  would you fail to publish my posts?

An interesting day

It started as a normal day,  internship at the bhau daji lad museum
I had to collect natural fallen objects (to some people-garbage) lying around in the jijamata udyan aka rani ka baug!
I went inside and started collecting and it brought a smile to my face, it reminded me of the time when I used to leave my house with a sketchbook pen, camera walking across different roads sitting and sketching  ancient trees, the twisted branches, graceful creepers, withered walls, shooting random moments, utterly fail at composing, try to capture the vivid patterns, even attempt to create some, stare at a wriggly worm, follow a butterfly, meow at a cat,  talk to crows  till the sky blue turned prussian,  that would be my cue.

Been ages since I've done that,
A nice long walk , alone, no purpose,  no worries,  no desires, nothing concrete, no expectations,  just a walk.

Thank you BDL for reminding me!

And now the photographs!

Another life.

It seems as if , it was all an eternity ago,
It never made any sense then nor is it making any sense now,
There never would have been enough time,
I feel as if it was another life
another reality
when we were together
Sometimes I wonder,  if you called, would I still recognize your voice?
I fail to remember your last laugh
the last fight,
the last hug,
the last kiss,
the last goodbye.

Sound of music

You have to live the life you were born to live.

The unloved list

On the same note.
Let's say an extension of that note.
The ones I hate doing / reluctant to move my arse cause it is too tedious

 Have to start ticking that too.
So see you tomorrow print! 
( P. S - the only thing that ever inspired me to pursue print was a photograph of R.C.A's printing machine )
Here's hoping I'll ever get to work with it ! Till then I'll be glad at least I  have a shitty one!

Hamartia

Often I find myself wondering how is it possible, that a certain small choice , leads to a string of other bizarre events!  One single choice - and lo came crashing all the dominoes.
And you never realize when the events unfold, later you are just dumbstruck as to what happened and how and it leads you back to that one incident.
Then it all makes sense in the Poetics.

A line.

Now it's your time so make it gold!
A line someone said.

FnL

Fat and lazy times
Sigh.
Le food detector*
Beep beep whiiirrrr
Om nom nom
Stuff stuff
Chomp chomp
Devour plates too and the knives.
*shrug
must get back to the books.

Letter #6

Haah. Long,time no see dude.
Hahaa I can feel the looks you would've given me for talking like that. Don't worry! That's just to piss you off. So suppppppp :p okay, no more. Sooooooooooo waaaaaddduuuppp. Gaaah I feeeeeels stuuuuupeeeeed :P. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.hi.hi.hi.hi.hi.hi
*ameoba dance moves*
Have to read for tomorrow's tutorial!
So baiiiiissssssss bzing bing ding.
Tatu.
Love with a greater than sign placed next to a three. That much love.
Chi. I better leave before you kick me.
Toodles (the keypad attacks me) you hate hakka noodles.
And I'm leaving.
Standing line underscore zero round bracket open underscore round bracket close.
I know you stopped reading.

From the mirror.

The Philosophers curse

Immanuel Kant
Edward Bullough
Jose Ortega Y Gasset
Theodor Lipps
Virgil C. Aldrich
Yeah, Aesthetics. Hours and hours spent on pondering over four pages. And when you finally get what they are saying, you are like - wait seriously? Could you possibly make it not so complicated!
when I look back at my simple version of their concoction . I smile,  if someone would've put forth that to people,  I guess no one would have entertained them, probably that happened or not (it is not relevant) , plus if it was all so simple we never would have bothered.
( I feel we often chase things out of our reach and head for all the resulting tangles ourselves )
So enraged,
'' Now you may all rot in our words (and dictionaries) ''
they said.

Reminder #2

Been too long since I last gazed at stars. 
Note to self - save up to buy a telescope.
Sigh*  You charming stupifying wonders! Wish you were here.

P.S- It is for the best that you are far away from human reach otherwise I am sure they would find one way or the other to exploit you.

Letter #5

It is just all an illusion,  is it?

Random nice people #1

I was traveling by train as usual, seated in front of me was this old lady, a woman enters the full compartment and asks if anyone's getting off in the next few stops she and I both say mulund.

Then the old lady smiled at me again and said  'You too Mulund?' ( with a cute south Indian accent)

I smiled and said yes.

She smiled again. I smiled back.

She gave me those whole hearted warm smiles, 

this woman had a peculiar huge I-will-melt-you-to-the-ground smile.
We got off at Mulund

She smiled again and said 'Aap dur rete ho?' 

to which I replied 'nahi sirf rickshaw lena padega'. 

With a worried face,

she said to me 'Oh dur hai ,thik se Jana beta,  mein toh yahi reti hu.'

I smiled and wished her good night.

'Good Night beta, nice meeting you.bye.' she said with a fat smile.
Though it was a normal conversation, people don't take time off today to talk to people around them and here I met one warm person happy person and she made me feel lovely.
Random nice people who make your day. :)

Why I absolutely love Coldplay #1

When you try your best, but you
don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not
what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't
sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down
your face
When you lose something you can't
replace
When you love someone, but it goes
to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot
replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my
mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

This and then the photograh (source-online) :)
How can anyone ever not love coldplay?!
Chris , Will , Guy , Johnny please visit india  :'(
Coldplay concert. Dream list.
Sigh.

Life

Is Beautiful

Sleepless night

Letter #4

I almost forgot. This year I have started working on things that scare me, things I always wanted to do but never did because of all those thousand excuses , mainly 'the not enough nerve' one. So this year has begun .1/6th has already passed. Gaah! Too many things to do. Enough of being lazy and scared. I know your words eh? Anyhoo gtg have work to do :) !
Love.

Letter #3

It is always scary thinking about the future plus futile. Bleh! 

But I always end up thinking about it. 

Most of the times I end up doing things I am not supposed to and always it teaches me something.  Yay for that. 

Oh I won a gold medal for best artwork from all four years. I guess you already know? :)
Love

Letter #2

How stupid we all are!  That you knew ages ago,  sigh.  If everyone knew how precious life is I bet we would never be fighting over trivial things. All these small things which upset you,  ruin your day,  weeks maybe , all the fights,  petty issues,  why. Why do we forget all the beautiful,  kind,  wonderful things, stories, people out there and waste our time and energy on things which will never matter,  why,  why do people do that all the time?  Everywhere? Every single day?  Every second every minute there is a fight going on. Please if only there was something to make it all stop. I know you can't help. I wish you could. I would have loved to listen to what you've got to say.
Love.

Letter #1

So it's been almost seven years since the last time I saw you and I wonder how is everything there? Is it too cloudy? Too dazzling? 
All those times you talked about being a 'maha tara' / great star. You knew didn't you? Well back then I never took anything seriously , sorry about that.
Love.

A random day.

I wake up late, miss college.

There is this smell I  love , the one I long for.

I notice something different about the air , it is calm.

The curtains look different, they are a tinge I know ,

Even the shadows cast around the room.

 But it can't be, it is way too early. 

I walk across the room to the curtains , brush them aside.

There it is everywhere, glistening on tiny leaves, on the edge of the grills,

Everything seems as if someone has cast a darker tone to every object around you. 

I close my eyes and smile. 

For I feel blessed.

These places

And then there are these places,
Absolutely ridiculously perfect,
Too perfect for you to acknowledge their existence,
But there they are,
Present
And that is beauty,
Untouched
Not manipulated,
Just sheer beauty
In it's purest form,
Everywhere.

Before sunrise

Everyone wants a little bit of magic, something out of this realm to happen,  something that takes our breath away,  leaves us stupified. And those numerous ridiculously perfect tales registered in our brain,  there is a bar that is set and most of the times we are so busy  concentrating , waiting for that one moment to unfold,  we miss out on the several tiny beautiful things unfolding besides us.